It's over. Beta was negative yesterday. Our plan as of right now is to set up another WTF conference with our doctor sometime soon.
Someone gave me this list of supplements they take for improving egg quality and I want to ask Dr. K. if I should take them for a few months before IVF #3 commences:
Don't ask me what they are. I only know the Coq10. Is anyone else on any of these?
- Coq10 300mg 2x day
- L-Arginine 1000mg 2x day
- royal jelly 500 mg 2x day
- bee pollen 2x day
- Spirulina and Chlorella as directed
- Buffalo liver pills (to build and maintain healthy blood)
- Melatonin 3 mg at night
- Vitamin D
It's been a tough week. I think I dealt with my feelings during the TWW, with all the crap that went down with losing 80% of our embryos that were supposed to be doing fine, and having an embryo transferred that was behind in growth. Overall, it was a shitty cycle and one that I want to forget.
I received a lot of support yesterday from sweet friends and family and I am so blessed to have you all in my life. I really am doing ok. I received many sweet texts: I'm so sorry, My heart is breaking for you, I wish I could make it better.
I don't know if it's just stellar distraction with NaNo this month, but I was sitting there going, Yeah but guys, guess what? I'm totally writing this killer sex scene in my novel! You should read it!
I'm like a child. I fall and skin my knee and start to cry, but then I see the ice cream truck and start chasing it.
I'm doing ok this cycle. And like I have told some people, this I will take over a miscarriage any day. I have had failed cycles before (it doesn't mean I am happy about all those needles I had to stab in my body everyday for nothing) and I will tell you, losing Adam is something I never want to experience again. So if I had to chose between a failed cycle and losing my baby, I will always be accepting of it not working.
In case you missed it, the sock exchange sign up is here, and if you haven't read my excerpt from my NaNo book, you can get to it here. Also, shout to to Kasey, who is taking on this insane challenge with me! You can read her excerpt here.
Love to you all. Sharing my story, I'm talking about my blog and infertility, not shamelessly promoting my novel here again, has been the best decision I have ever made. You guys are wonderful.
Labels: Adam, Beta, Doctor Appointment, embryo, gift exchange, Grief, Infertility education, Inspirational, IVF, Shots, surviving days post-transfer, Two Week Wait