Why I hate being infertile

Yesterday I went to my 9:00 appointment.  I sat in the waiting room for a few minutes before the lab tech came out to call my name.  I walked up to her and she asked me if I had the doctor's order with me.  I told her they should already have it on file since I couldn't make the appointment without it.

Before I go any further, let me tell you what happened at the end of last week.

I called CRM Thursday on my lunch break and gave them the fax number to the women's clinic by my house so that they could do the beta there and fax back the results to CRM.  Friday I called my clinic to make a lab appointment and they said they never got the order.  Apparently, I faxed it to the administrative area.  Why they couldn't have taken it and brought it to the lab is beyond me.  So I got the new fax number that would go to lab, called CRM back and asked if they could call me to confirm they sent it.

So CRM called back and said it was all gravy and I called my own clinic and set the appointment (after waiting on hold while they "searched" for it).

Fast forward to yesterday:  The lab tech disappears in the back to go find it, I am sitting there annoyed because come on.  I scheduled the beta at my own clinic because I thought it would be less of a hassle.  Finally, she comes back and says she found it.

Afterward, I asked her when I could expect the results and she told me later that afternoon.  So I spent the day with my friend and waited and waited.  And waited.  I drove home at 3:45 and decided to call CRM to see if they've recieved the fax.  I mean, BW doesn't take that long to do.  Well they didn't receive anything.  So I called my clinic and spoke to triage.

I told the nurse I had a beta done that morning and was wondering if the results were faxed to CRM yet.  This is what she said to me:

"Well I see the results here and it's less than 1.  Were you hoping it was negative?"

Excuse me, I just got done telling you I needed the results faxed to the Center for Reproductive Medicine, not the Teen Crack Whores of America.  Why the f%^& would I be hoping it was negative?

So I don't know what I was expecting.  The CRM nurse calling me and kindly telling me that she was so sorry honey, but it's negative.  Maybe some sympathetic women saying that it's too bad, that she knows how much I want this.

I wasn't expecting that.

So when I recovered from that callous blow, I asked her why the results weren't sent yet, and that I needed to know if I was supposed to stop my progesterone.  She just told me that it would get sent out eventually.

So now I am wondering, how long were they even going to make me wait?  So I called back CRM and just told the nurse that it was negative and she told me she was sorry to hear that.  I am to stop the progesterone and to call when I get my period.  P4 delays menstruation so it may take up to a few days.

I knew it my heart it was negative.  Was I disappointed with the results?  Of course I was.  But I think I am even more upset with the way it was handled.  It makes me even rethink going to a closer clinic if this is the way it's going to be.

So.  We did what any infertile couple does when they get a negative result.  I drank some coffee yesterday and this morning, and last night we got all liquored up.

On to the next cycle.

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