How has it already been a month?

This month has been nothing like I imagined. And don't ask me what I imagined-I had no concept of what a newborn was like.

I mean, you go through years of infertility treatments. You know IVF. You know embryo quality. I was just starting to understand pregnancy when WHAM. Baby.

That first night home from the hospital was surreal. I just felt like she wasn't mine yet, or like she was just on loan to us. The very little sleep I got was crappy-I kept thinking that the baby was in the bed, and I woke up a few times digging in the blankets to find her. Chris would get up in the middle of the night trying to take her out of her pack n play thinking she was crying when in fact she was fast asleep.

We have good nights and bad nights. We have nights where I am left in tears because 1) I am exhausted and this is the 87th time she was stirring to want to nurse and 2) I have no idea what I am doing. Someday. Someday she will sleep for longer than 2.5 hour increments. Please Olive?

I am now somewhat schooled on baby care but I'm still surprised that I managed to bring home a 7 pound baby and keep her alive.

I've been meaning to write an actual Olivia update for awhile now. I've been slowly working on this post but 1) I usually fall asleep and 2) there is the whole baby thing. And poop. And nursing and diapers and a delicious baby I could just eat up.

Being that both Chris and I haven't changed many diapers since 2006, I think we are doing an acceptable job. We've had a lot of practice now since Olivia insists on peeing on us at 90% of her diaper changes. Diaper time goes as follows:

-Poopy diaper.
-Fresh diaper
-Ointment glob on finger.
-Olivia pees.
-Wipe off ointment glob.
-Fresh diaper part 2.

And for extra fun? There have been times where I went through 3 diapers at once because just when you think there couldn't be another squirt of poop? THERE TOTALLY IS! MULTIPLE SQUIRTS! AND MAYBE MORE PEE BECAUSE WHY NOT, YOU KNOW?!

It makes me sad that a month can pass this fast, and I'm trying to just live in the moment. This parenting thing is hard and exhausting but she makes it all worth it. We've waited so long for her. She's here and it's ok that she doesn't sleep at night and she poops incessantly. Our lives have been upturned and our living room is packed with baybee things and it is unbelievable how everything is different and yet it is still all OK.

1 week

2 weeks

3 weeks

4 weeks

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