34 Weeks: Birth Plan, Smirth Plan

And here I am, another week along. 34 weeks pregnant. Almost, almost 35. (Forever the optimist now, apparently). It's strange because it's that time now where I need to move my focus from just trying to keep this baby alive inside me to actually thinking about her evacuation.

Way before infertility, I used to want this natural, drug free birth, in a birthing center or my living room, it didn't matter. But then I got pregnant for realz and suddenly, I had no time to do research on midwives or home births or things like that. I saw an obgyn and my blood pressure and Lovenox injections put me at risk so I resigned myself to giving birth at a hospital with a doctor.

Up until recently, my birth plan consisted of something like this:
1. Drugs.
2. As Many As Possible.
3. As Soon As Possible.

We've been attending a four week childbirth class through our hospital. We just recently were given the option of delivering at the hospital that is right down the street from us, which they recently built a Mother Baby Center from scratch. Every room has a birthing ball and squat bar to give mom options to labor with. It made me start rethinking about this whole birth plan thing and maybe I could still attempt the drug-free birth that I used to want.

Last Friday, when I turned 34 weeks, we had another growth scan. Seaweed is now an estimated 6 lbs, plus or minus 6 oz, putting her in the 87 percentile for weight. I have had friends tell me this can't be accurate and they could be off by a whole pound. Let's hope so because if that measurement is true, I could have a 9 pound baby in there (or more!) by my due date!! My husband's side has a history of big babies so this could entirely be my fate. In fact, maybe I should have titled this post:"My Vagina is Tiny: So, How Exactly Does This All Work?"

Possibly the cutest picture of Seaweed to date

Hair. Lots of hair. Floating in her amniotic fluid.
She's still also sitting frank breech, happily ass down and her feet still hanging out by her face.

At my non-stress test and OB appointment Monday, Seaweed was much more reactive with the test and everything was looking good. I had plans of starting the conversation with my doctor about delivery options until he spoke.

"So because you're on blood pressure medication, we're going to be delivering her early."

Say what, now?

He went on to say that his plan was to induce me at 39 weeks. That's ONLY if my sweet baby decides to head south and get in the proper head-down position in time.

We briefly discussed an external version by 36 weeks if she doesn't turn on her own. If I chose not to do it, if we do it and she flips back breech, or if the version doesn't work, he will have me schedule a C-section at 38 weeks.

Now don't get me wrong. Any way this baby comes into the world is more than ok with me, as long as she comes safely. And I hardly thought I would make it beyond my due date with blood pressure issues anyway. But to be told suddenly that your only options at this point is an induction or a C-section, is something I guess I wasn't expecting. So much for my ideal birth experience.

Right now, the thing to make a decision on in the next week and a half is if we want to attempt to turn this baby. Because something, maybe mother's intuition, is telling me she is perfectly happy with her head smooshed under my ribs and she isn't going anywhere. I'm not sure why she hasn't turned and I'm concerned about going through a version where I have to stop the Lovenox for 24 hours prior just to risk the chance that it won't work or she'll turn back or we'll cause damage.

And then there is the decision on an induction (assuming she is head down) vs a C-section. Honestly, I am not a fan of inductions. When you are forcing a labor to start when it's not the time, it can be tough. There is a lot of medical intervention. And it doesn't always result in a vaginal birth. It's a higher chance of an unplanned or emergency C-section. I could end up laboring for 14 hours just to be rushed into an OR, exhausted and worried, just to undergo major abdominal surgery.

So then I think, ok, maybe I just need to do a planned cesarean. Get a good night sleep the night before, come in rested, excited to meet my baby in a matter of several hours. But then the thought of not getting that labor experience is hard to accept. What if the induction isn't that bad and I get to have her born into my waiting arms? She could immediately go to my chest. A C-section is a longer recovery. There are risks there too. And it makes me want to cry thinking of them taking her away while I get stitched up.

It's hard. It's a good problem to have after infertility. But still. It's a rock and a hard place. It all comes down to if she remains breech or not. In some ways, I wish my provider would tell me "Sorry, no can do Bob. I don't do external versions." Having to make a decision between one less than ideal birth and another is not how I envisioned this. Again, I get it. However she comes if just fine with me. But...

We'll have to see what the next week brings.

Thoughts? Advice? Stories? I'm in need of some direction.

****This just in!!!****
You guys, there is an incredible blogger at Trials Bring Joy who is doing a TTC mug exchange! I haven't done an exchange in so long and I've of course already signed up! Check out her post "TTC Mug Exchange 2015" if you would like to participate!

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