The Road Less Traveled: From IVF to Donor Eggs - a mom.me post

Life hands us many surprises, doesn't it? Like how I never saw myself as a nurse until the first day of nursing school, or how I found out a few weeks ago that I'm not as scared of snakes as I once was, and how talking on the phone with a fertility doctor on the opposite end of the country to come there to be knocked up with another women's eggs is like, not that big of a deal.

We had our phone consult a couple weeks ago with Dr. G. at the clinic in Texas which we were looking at for their frozen donor egg program. He sounded really nice. Like, “Hey Dr. G., come have a beer with us by the pool” nice. We were scheduled for the call at 5 p.m., but being that it was the end of the day, he didn't call us until 5:45, which was perfect because it gave us time to rush in the door and get to the kitchen table so we could have a productive conversation without being stuck in traffic trying to take notes on the back of a receipt on my lap while in the car.

To sum up, we could begin the process right away, and the success rates are just as good as the rates of our clinic here for a fresh IVF cycle.

Beginning the process right away means we just have to complete the required testing here in Minnesota (an ultrasound check and lab work), complete the paperwork and choose a donor. There is no waiting list. Also, the success rates being comparable to our donor program up here is huge. He told us the donor coordinator and financial coordinator would be in contact with us in the coming days and would give us access to the donor profile lists. Just like that. It's enough to make you want to shake your head and say, "Wait, what?"

Two months ago we were reeling from our third failed IVF and now we have two options presenting themselves to us: a fresh donor cycle at our clinic in the next seven months or so, and a frozen cycle in another state by October. We, like the smart, money-conscious we’re-not-that-desperate-for-a-baby-are-we?-people that we are, have decided to move forward with both options. Crazy? Pah. Trust me, in the five years we’ve spent trying to get pregnant, this is definitely not the craziest thing we’ve ever done. Or maybe it is.

While we are waiting for the donor cycle here, we are making plans, little by little, to travel to Texas in two months, all the while not being a hundred percent sure of our decisions. Because I don't think we will ever be a hundred percent sure. Not on something this big. I don't think these decisions are something we could ever feel fully and completely confident about. There will always be doubt, and uncertainty, and many glasses of wine drunk together wondering how the hell our lives ever turned out like this.

I just hope it will all be worth it.

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