IVF makes me roll my eyes

Well here I am posting again 5 weeks later.  Where does the time go?  Really?  I've only blogged three other times this year.  I remember going through the first IVF, how excited I was.  How I had so much to tell you guys.

I got my period! Woo hoo!  IVF begins!  Here is a picture of my bruise from my blood draw!

Cray-cray guys! I start shots!  ZOMG I'm so nervous! Here is a picture of one of the needles!

Someone pinch me!  My retrieval is today!  Here is a video of me after!

Oh wow!  Transfer day!!! Here is a picture of my embryo!!

Squee!! Look at a picture of my pregnancy test!! Try not to think about the fact that I just peed on it! I'm pregnant!!!!!

Then I lost him.  And then the second IVF could not have gone worse.  And then I developed all sorts of wacky health issues as a result of the meds for the third attempt, which was then cancelled. 

And now here I am, 6 months from the last IVF.  I've gone from hopeless romantic to shit-could-you-BE-more-infertile-GAWD! in a matter of 9 months.  I'm so infertile, that even a bunch of men using state-of-the-art technology couldn't even give me a baby even when the gawddamn sperm was injected right into my egg.  I mean, really.  How much more lazy could those sperms be?

Sperm #1: Uh, dude, shouldn't we be, like, swimming toward it or something?

Sperm #2: Nah man, we cool.  See that long pointy thing up there?  Man, they gonna pick us up and put us right in there! We don't gotta do nothing!

Sperm #1: Seriously? We don't need to squirm our tails around or anything?

Sperm #2: Nah man.  We just gotta hang around and wait. 

Sperm #1: Really? I thought we had to like, swim toward it for our lives, and battle each other to the death for one of us to get in?

Sperm #2:  Nope.  That's the beauty of it!  Those guys are gonna do it for us!  Here, have some chips while we wait.

I'll be starting the third and last IVF using my own eggs in less than a week.  Who would have thought?  Certainly not me.

Chris and I got back from vacationing a week in Colorado, using his parents' time-share that they so graciously let us use.  It was the best thing we could have done right before this IVF.

So I am trying to calm and de-stress myself.  After all, this ain't my first rodeo.  I just want to move forward and move on.  I will be starting stims pretty much right away, instead of three weeks of birth control.  Which is good.  Because I just want to move on with it.  (But if you ask nicely, maybe I will provide some pictures of big scary needles and embarrassing pictures of me with no make-up. It is what I do best.)

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