You might be infertile if...

I have nothing else to do during this 2WW so Chris and I came up with this useless list that we had a great time making.  Enjoy!

You might be infertile if...

...More than just you and your husband are involved in making a baby.

... He can get it up anytime, anywhere.  Except here:

... You spend all of your money on fertility treatments.  Then you have no money.

... Any trip over one day involves careful planning on how to keep the progesterone suppositories from melting during the car ride.

... Your stomach clenches in knots hearing/seeing every. single. pregnancy. announcement.

... You don't cry over spilled milk.  You cry because you don't have any milk.

... All of your baby names keep getting stolen by fertiles.  You're left with Gidgit and Apple.

... Your husband/partner is more versed in female reproduction than a Women's Health Practitioner.

... Your dog looks at you like this when you tell him he may not get to be a big brother:

... You realize it's inevitable that your youngest sister will probably get pregnant before you do.

... Your friend had one drunken one-night stand and got knocked up.  You've been abstaining from alcohol for four years and you didn't.

... That same friend now has maternity photos with her and the one night stand, and then later has pictures of her baby plastered all over her Facebook account.  You and your husband just had a failed IUI.

... You talk about your vagina to anyone who will listen.

... You've ever gone cross-eyed trying to find that little pink line.

... You can't commit to anything because you have to wait for your period to start, to know when your doctor appointments will be.

... You seriously consider taking up crack. Or going on welfare.  Because people who do that always get pregnant.  Three or four times.

... You know what EWCM stands for.

... You are sitting with a group of women and the conversation inevitably turned to children, sharing birth stories, swapping tips on breastfeeding.. and you sit there quietly because you have nothing to contribute.

... You can shoot up injections better than a heroin-addict.

... You live in a five bedroom house... and four of those rooms are used for storage.

... You have more people hidden from your timeline than you actually see, because all your Facebook friends have children.

... You spend more time in stirrups than a cowboy.

... Your RE sees your lady parts more than your spouse.

... You are reading this, nodding your head and agreeing to everything on here.

Labels: , , , , ,